Step 7: List The Qualities That You Feel That Action Demonstrates

Remember in Step 1, when you said "I thought that was...(rude, silly, nice, etc)." You were associating an action someone did with a quality. This is similar. You associate the actions above in step six with certain qualities. When your brain see someone doing those actions, it thinks (often subconsciously) "Oh they are being...(considerate, wise, etc)."
 
Imagine yourself in that situation or that you are watching someone doing the actions you listed in Step 6, and then ask yourself, "What kind of person acts or speaks that way?"

Do not use the word Normal. ("They're being normal.") Look deeper to find the specific qualities that make the action "feel" than normal.

Try to pick the exact quality instead of merely stating “NOT....”

Here is a list of a few of the millions of human qualities. Notice that qualities can be positive or negative.

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Selfless                                            Selfish

Thoughtful                                        Thoughtless/Shallow

Cautious                                           Reckless

Caring, Concerned                           Inconsiderate

Successful                                        Failing

Competent                                        Incompetent

Modest                                             Show-off 

Loving                                              Hateful

Cool                                                 Dorky

Considerate                                     Mean

Forthright                                         Sneaky/secretive

Empowering                                    Discouraging

Collaborative                                   Obstructive

Step 6: List and describe specific actions you would do in the universal situation from Step 5

Try to make the behavior as precise and vivid as possible—Add as many details as you can recall.

Don’t focus on why you did anything in this step.

Often we learn behaviors from family, teachers, personal experiences, or our own personalities which may mean that what you would do might be different from your community at large, or that there are several possible responses to this same situation. 

If you cannot remember being in the exact situation, imagine what you would do if you ever found yourself in a similar position. Or you might think of what someone from your "group" would do in that situation.

Step 5: Find The Universal Situation In The Incident When It Happened

When asking yourself "why" the other person did what they did, you are trying to identify the situation to which they were responding—not to “understand” the other person(s)’ motive.

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Their action was in response to a particular situation. If you were in the same situation, you would most likely have responded differently. Here you are looking to pin point what that situation might have been.

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Don't worry about trying to pick the exact "correct" situation. Just try to find a universal situation that could have led to their response and your culture bump.

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The situation usually begins with a verb such as:

• Wanting to...

• Needing to...

• Explaining...

• Being...

Universal Situations are something anyone from any culture could find themselves in. Here are some helpful tips:
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Instead of specific people's names, change it to their role in the situation.

• Correct: ...parents are mad at their children

• Incorrect: ...They (my parents) were mad at Fred (my other brother).​

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You can add more details to make it specific such as: 
Roles of the individuals involved, the ages, pertinent relationships, gender, or whether the situation occurred in public or in private.

Step 4: List The Emotions You Felt When The Bump Happened

1. Many times we are aware of being mad or angry but underneath we may feel a more "tender" or impactful emotion such as "fear" or "sad."                             

2. Look for the most “tender” or impactful emotion. It typically is the last emotion you identify. (People often think, “wow, I didn’t know I felt that.” when they name it.)

You will actually feel a “release” from the bump when you identify all of your emotions.

Note: Some emotions may contradict one another.

Do not describe why you felt an emotion or use words like: felt like, felt that, or felt about. 

Do not use words that describe feelings or physical states.

• Correct: sad, honored, weary

• Incorrect: normal, upset, tired, hungry, 

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Example List of Emotions:

Surprise:

Shock, astonishment, amazement, wonder

Anger:

Fury, resentment, exasperation, indignation, irritability, annoyance,

hatred

Fear:

Anxiety, scared, nervous, concern, wariness, panic, terror
Sadness:

Grief, hurt, sorrow, melancholy, self-pity, dejection, despair, disappointed

Enjoyment:

Happy, joy, relief, contentment, delight, satisfied, euphoria

Love:

Acceptance, trust, kindness, connectedness, adoration, infatuation

Disgust:

Contempt, disdain, scorn, aversion, distaste

Shame:

Guilt, embarrassment, chagrin, remorse, humiliation, regret,

mortification

• Correct: sad, honored, weary

• Incorrect: he made me..., I thought they were..., he was scared, etc.

Step 3: Describe What You Did

Describe exactly what you saw, heard, touched, or smelled. Even though it is somewhat artificial, report exactly what happened with no interpretation.

• Correct: I stepped backward and said, “No, thank you.”

• Incorrect: I stepped backward in fear and said nervously, “No, thank you.”

Don’t tell the story or add how you felt or your thoughts about the other person or yourself.  Just focus on your actions and words. 

Step 2: Describe What The Other Person(S) Did

Don’t tell the story. Just focus on the actions and words you can see or hear. (Or, taste or touch if in the case of an object).

Describe exactly what you saw, heard, touched, or smelled. Even though it is somewhat artificial, report exactly what happened with no interpretation.

• Descriptive Observations: crying, hands out in front of him, said “That’s cool.”

• Non-descriptive Observations: sad, nervous, rude, in an angry tone

Don’t tell the story. Just focus on the actions and words saw, heard, touched, or smelled. 

Step 1: Pinpoint The Culture Bump

Recall a time when something caught your attention, when you noticed something different or when someone did something you wouldn't have done.

Then tell what your perception was—in other words, what you thought about it. 

Focus on one particular time, perhaps the first time you encountered the bump or the last time.

Instead of telling the story of what happened, you are looking only for certain details (the person or thing you bumped with and your intial thought about the incident) that will be the starting place of your 8 Steps. 

So don't talk about motivations or feelings in this step.